Promoting Positive Behaviour

Promoting Positive Behaviour in Early Years 

Promoting positive behaviour in early years starts with understanding that all behaviour is a form of communication.

Children often express their needs, emotions, frustrations, and feelings through their actions. Rather than simply reacting to behaviour, the aim is to help children develop the skills they need to communicate, regulate emotions, and interact positively with others.

Effective strategies include modelling calm behaviour, using specific and descriptive praise, establishing consistent routines, and supporting emotional development through play, visual aids, and age-appropriate activities.

Below, we explore 30 practical ways to promote positive behaviour in children, including strategies, examples, and tips for parents, teachers, nursery staff, and early years practitioners.

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Promoting Positive Behaviour in Early Years

30 Ways to Promote Positive Behaviour in Early Years

  1. Set Clear Expectations
  2. Use Positive Language
  3. Build Warm and Positive Relationships
  4. Be a Positive Role Model
  5. Establish Consistent Routines
  6. Involve Children in Creating Rules
  7. Keep Rules Simple and Age‑Appropriate
  8. Actively Listen to Children
  9. Spend Quality One‑to‑One Time
  10. Teach Emotional Literacy
  11. Encourage Empathy
  12. Help Children Solve Problems
  13. Encourage Sharing and Turn‑Taking
  14. Give Children Choices
  15. Give Children Responsibility
  16. Catch Children Being Good
  17. Use Specific and Descriptive Praise
  18. Aim for More Praise Than Correction
  19. Celebrate Small Improvements
  20. Use Reward Systems Appropriately
  21. Create an Engaging Learning Environment
  22. Use Stories to Teach Positive Behaviour
  23. Use Role Play and Puppets
  24. Identify Behaviour Triggers
  25. Redirect Behaviour Before It Escalates
  26. Teach Self‑Regulation Skills
  27. Create a Calm Corner or Safe Space
  28. Work in Partnership with Parents and Carers
  29. Respond Calmly to Challenging Behaviour
  30. Focus on Children’s Strengths and Achievements

How can positive behaviour be promoted in early years?

1. Set Clear Expectations

If you often find yourself repeating instructions or feeling frustrated because children “aren’t listening,” it may be worth considering whether the expectation is clear enough for them to understand.

Young children struggle with vague phrases like “behave yourself” or “be good” because they don’t always know what those words mean in practice. Clear, specific instructions make a huge difference. For example, instead of saying “Stop making a mess,” try: “Please put the blocks back into the box when you’ve finished playing.”

Before activities begin, gently remind children what is expected: “During story time, we sit on the carpet and use our listening ears.”

When expectations are clear, consistent, and repeated regularly, children feel safer and more confident. What can sometimes look like defiance is often simply a child not fully understanding what is being asked of them.

 

2. Use Positive Language

If you feel like you spend your day saying “Don’t do that,” you’re not alone. Many adults fall into this pattern without realising that children respond far better when we tell them what to do instead of what not to do.

For example:

  • Instead of “Don’t run,” try “Please use your walking feet indoors.”

  • Instead of “Stop shouting,” try “Let’s use our quiet voices so everyone can hear.”

Positive language gives children a clear, achievable instruction. Over time, this reduces conflict, increases cooperation, and creates a calmer atmosphere for everyone.

If you notice children frequently ignoring instructions, it may be because they’re being told what to stop doing rather than what to do instead.

 

3. Build Warm and Positive Relationships

When a child’s behaviour becomes challenging, it’s easy to focus only on correcting the behaviour.  Encouraging positive behaviour almost always begins with positive relationships.

Children who feel safe, valued, and understood are more willing to cooperate and seek help when they’re struggling. This doesn’t mean overlooking inappropriate behaviour — it means building trust so children feel secure enough to behave well.

Small moments make a big difference:

  • greeting children warmly

  • remembering something they told you

  • showing interest in their favourite activities

  • spending a few minutes talking with them during the day

If you find one child particularly challenging, try connecting with them during calm moments. A stronger relationship often leads to better behaviour because the child feels respected and emotionally safe.

 

4. Be a Positive Role Model

Many adults feel frustrated when children shout, interrupt, or argue — but children learn a huge amount by watching the adults around them.

If you want children to stay calm during disagreements, they need to see adults managing frustration calmly too. If you expect polite language, they need to hear adults speaking respectfully to one another.

For example, if a child becomes upset and raises their voice, responding with a calm tone shows them the behaviour you want to see: “I can see you’re upset. Let’s talk about it together.”

Children are far more influenced by what adults do than by what adults say. When we model the behaviour we want, children are much more likely to follow.

 


promoting positive behaviour in children

5. Establish Consistent Routines

If you notice that children become unsettled, restless, or anxious during transitions, it may be a sign that the routine feels unpredictable to them. Young children rely heavily on structure because it helps them feel safe and in control.

A consistent daily pattern — such as arrival, free play, snack time, outdoor play, and story time — gives children a sense of security. When they know what is coming next, they are less likely to become overwhelmed or resistant.

Visual schedules, countdown warnings, and regular routines can help children prepare for changes and reduce resistance.

What may appear to be difficult behaviour can sometimes be a child’s way of expressing uncertainty or discomfort with unexpected changes.

If you have ever seen a child calm down simply because they can see what is happening next, you’ve witnessed the power of predictability.

 

6. Involve Children in Creating Rules

If you find that children frequently ignore rules, it may be because they don’t feel connected to them. Children are far more likely to follow rules they have helped create.

During circle time or family discussions, ask children what rules will help everyone stay safe and happy. You might be surprised by how thoughtful their suggestions are — “Kind Hands,” “Listening Ears,” and “Sharing Toys” often come from the children themselves.

Displaying these rules with pictures helps reinforce understanding. When children feel ownership over the rules, they are more motivated to follow them.

 

7. Keep Rules Simple and Age‑Appropriate

When behaviour becomes challenging, it can be tempting to introduce more rules. However, too many expectations can overwhelm young children and make it harder for them to succeed.

If you feel like you are constantly reminding children of rules, it may be because there are simply too many for them to remember. Young children can only hold a few expectations in mind at once.

Focus on three or four simple rules that cover most situations, such as: Be Kind. Be Safe. Be Respectful.

These broad rules are easier for children to understand and easier for adults to reinforce consistently.

Keeping expectations simple allows children to understand boundaries more easily and gives adults greater consistency when managing behaviour.

 

8. Actively Listen to Children

If you’ve ever had a child repeat the same concern over and over, it may be because they don’t feel heard.

Sometimes behaviour that appears challenging is a child’s way of communicating frustration, worry, confusion, or disappointment.

Active listening helps children feel valued and understood.

This means giving your full attention, making eye contact, and acknowledging their feelings.

When a child is upset, resist the urge to immediately correct or dismiss their feelings. Instead, listen carefully and acknowledge what they are experiencing.

For example, “I can see you’re upset because you wanted a turn with the toy.”

Children who feel heard are often more willing to cooperate and discuss solutions. Active listening also teaches children how to communicate their needs in a positive and respectful way.

 

9. Spend Quality One‑to‑One Time

If a child frequently seeks attention through negative behaviour, it may be their way of asking for connection. Even a few minutes of focused, positive attention can make a big difference.

This could be reading a book together, completing a puzzle, or simply talking about their interests. You may notice that after this one‑to‑one time, the child becomes more cooperative and settled for the rest of the day.

Connection often reduces challenging behaviour more effectively than correction.

 

10. Teach Emotional Literacy

Young children are still learning how to understand and manage their emotions. A child who throws toys or shouts may not yet have the vocabulary to explain how they are feeling.

Help children identify emotions by naming them as situations arise. For example, “You seem frustrated because the tower fell down,” or “You look excited about going outside.”

Using books, emotion cards, mirrors, and role play can help children recognise feelings in themselves and others. When children understand their emotions, they are more likely to express them appropriately.


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11. Encourage Empathy

When children struggle with sharing, kindness, or cooperation, they may need support understanding how their actions affect others.

Encourage children to think about other people’s feelings. For example, if one child pushes another, you might ask, “How do you think they felt when that happened?”

Reading stories, discussing characters’ emotions, and talking about real-life situations can help develop empathy. Children who understand the feelings of others are often more considerate in their behaviour.

12. Help Children Solve Problems

It can be quicker to solve children’s problems for them, but doing so removes valuable learning opportunities.

When disagreements arise, guide children through the process of finding solutions. Ask questions such as “What happened?” “How are you both feeling?” and “What could we do to make things fair?”

This teaches children important life skills such as negotiation, communication, and compromise. Over time, they become more confident in managing conflicts independently.

13. Encourage Sharing and Turn-Taking

Many behaviour challenges in early years settings occur because children are still learning how to share and wait their turn.

Provide regular opportunities to practise these skills through games, activities, and daily routines. For example, use timers to help children understand when their turn will end and when someone else’s begins.

Remember that sharing is a learned skill, not something that comes naturally to every child. Regular practice and positive reinforcement can help children become more patient and cooperative.

14. Give Children Choices

If you frequently encounter resistance or power struggles, offering choices can help children feel more in control.

Instead of giving direct commands, provide two acceptable options. For example, “Would you like to tidy up the blocks first or the books?” or “Would you like to use crayons or pencils?”

This approach allows children to exercise independence while still working within clear boundaries. Children are often more cooperative when they feel they have some control over their decisions.

15. Give Children Responsibility

Children often behave more positively when they feel trusted and valued.

Providing age-appropriate responsibilities helps children develop confidence and a sense of belonging. Tasks might include handing out resources, helping set up activities, watering plants, or tidying equipment.

Children who feel they contribute to the group are often more engaged and motivated to follow expectations. Responsibilities also encourage independence and self-esteem.


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16. Catch Children Being Good

When behaviour becomes difficult, it is easy to focus on what children are doing wrong. However, children often repeat behaviours that receive attention.

Make a conscious effort to notice positive behaviour throughout the day. For example, praise a child who waits patiently, helps a friend, or follows instructions the first time.

The more positive attention children receive for appropriate behaviour, the more likely they are to repeat it.

17. Use Specific Praise

General praise such as “Good job” can be encouraging, but it does not tell children exactly what they did well.

Instead, be specific. For example, “I really like how you helped tidy up without being asked” or “Thank you for sharing your crayons with your friend.”

Specific praise reinforces the behaviour you want to see and helps children understand what actions are valued.

18. Aim for More Praise Than Correction

If you feel as though your day is spent correcting behaviour, try increasing the amount of positive feedback children receive.

Many behaviour specialists recommend aiming for several positive interactions for every correction. This helps children feel encouraged rather than criticised.

Children who regularly receive positive attention are often more motivated to cooperate and less likely to seek attention through challenging behaviour.

19. Celebrate Small Improvements

Behaviour change rarely happens overnight. Waiting for perfection can lead to frustration for both adults and children.

Instead, acknowledge small steps in the right direction. If a child who normally interrupts manages to wait for a few seconds before speaking, recognise that achievement.

Celebrating progress helps build confidence and encourages children to continue developing positive behaviours.

20. Use Reward Systems Carefully

Reward systems can be effective when used appropriately, but they should support learning rather than replace it.

Simple sticker charts, certificates, or special responsibilities can encourage positive choices. However, rewards work best when paired with praise and discussion about why the behaviour was positive.

The goal is to help children understand the value of positive behaviour, not simply behave for a reward.

21. Create an Engaging Learning Environment

Boredom is often a hidden cause of challenging behaviour. When activities are not interesting or suitable for children’s developmental stages, frustration can increase.

Provide a variety of stimulating, hands-on experiences that encourage curiosity and participation. Rotate resources regularly and consider children’s interests when planning activities.

Children who are engaged and motivated are less likely to become disruptive.

22. Use Stories to Teach Behaviour

Stories can help children explore emotions, relationships, and behaviour in a safe and meaningful way.

Books often provide opportunities to discuss sharing, kindness, friendship, honesty, and managing feelings. Ask questions such as “How do you think the character felt?” or “What could they have done differently?”

Stories help children learn important social skills without feeling singled out.

23. Use Role Play and Puppets

Some children find it easier to explore emotions and behaviour through role plays.

Role play allows children to practise situations they may find difficult, such as sharing, taking turns, or resolving disagreements. Puppets can also help children talk about feelings they might struggle to express directly.

These activities provide valuable opportunities for learning and discussion.

24. Identify Behaviour Triggers

If challenging behaviour seems to happen repeatedly, look for patterns rather than focusing solely on the behaviour itself.

Ask yourself whether certain situations trigger difficulties. Is the child tired, hungry, overwhelmed by noise, struggling with transitions, or finding a task too difficult?

Understanding triggers helps you address the cause of the behaviour rather than simply reacting to the symptoms.

promoting positive behaviour by teachers

25. Redirect Behaviour Before It Escalates

Often there are early signs that a child is becoming frustrated or upset.

Learning to recognise these signs allows you to intervene before behaviour escalates.You might redirect the child’s attention to a different activity, offer support, or provide a short break.

Early intervention can prevent minor frustrations from developing into larger incidents.

26. Teach Self-Regulation Skills

Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, behaviour, and reactions. It is a skill that develops gradually and requires practice.

Teach children simple techniques such as deep breathing, counting to ten, squeezing a stress ball, or asking for help when they feel overwhelmed.

The more opportunities children have to practise these skills, the better equipped they become to manage challenging situations.

27. Create a Calm-down Corner

If children regularly become overwhelmed, a calm corner can provide a safe place to regain control of their emotions.

Include comforting resources such as cushions, books, sensory items, emotion cards, or calming activities. Make it clear that the space is available to help children feel better, not as a punishment.

Many children benefit from having a quiet place to reset when emotions become difficult to manage.

28. Work Closely with Parents and Carers

Behaviour support is often most effective when children receive consistent messages both at home and in their setting.

Regular communication helps identify successful strategies and ensures everyone is working towards the same goals. Share achievements as well as concerns.

Parents and carers can provide valuable insights into a child’s interests, routines, and potential triggers.

29. Respond Calmly to Challenging Behaviour

When behaviour becomes difficult, it is natural to feel frustrated. However, children often look to adults for guidance on how to respond.

Remaining calm helps de-escalate situations and models emotional regulation. Speak clearly, avoid raising your voice unnecessarily, and focus on supporting the child rather than punishing them.

A calm response often leads to a quicker and more positive resolution.

30. Focus on Strengths and Achievements

When challenging behaviour occurs regularly, it can be easy to focus on problems rather than progress.

Make time to recognise each child’s strengths, interests, and achievements. For example, a child who struggles with sharing may be exceptionally creative, caring, or enthusiastic.

Children who feel valued for their strengths often develop greater confidence, resilience, and motivation to make positive choices. A strengths-based approach helps build self-esteem and supports long-term positive behaviour.

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